Day 3.7

I CANT TAKE IT I NEED SOME FUCKING PRIVATE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


My brother is sitting less than a meter away from me ive squashed myself into the edge of the sofa as much as i can. I cant go shut myself away in my room because ill have nothing to do. This is so stressful, you may not think socializing with your family is hard, but it really is. I hate not having enough personal space there are only about 3 people i trust really. I dont trust anyone now, i know it sucks, i mean i like people and im friends with them but i dont trust them. My brothers got this new girlfriend and im convinced shes just here to get through my brother and find out about me!
As someone put it "you think people are out to get you" i dont think, i know people are.

I mean some people can just make instant bonds and gel with who ever for years and not have any problems but i just dont seem to be able to do this latley, i mean ive started to gel in with people at college but im always convinced theres going to be someone whos not 100% and is going to do something.

This is just so lame and its not even been 4 days im finding it so impossibly hard but im determined. And even if i wanted to go on WoW my boyfriends changed all my account deatails and put 24hour parental controll on so i still couldnt play. I mean i could make a new account and use my 10-day free trial but thats just lame and would take effort. Plus i would feel absoloutly ashamed of myself and very guilty, which i dont want to do.

At the moment if i wasnt doing this mission i would be playing WoW now, to be alone in MY world.

Away from my dancing, cheering, loud brother who is on the PS3 with dad.

I dont feel as shit now and i would go and play PS2 in my room except ive lost one of my MEM cards with the games i like on so its a bit shit.

I would read but ive finnished all the books i have and mikeys lending me his sometime soon which im really greatfull for.

Its damn hot in here.

Thanks for reading. x